Silly Thoughts, volume 1

My daughter and I recently watched Alexa & Katie. It's a Netflix show about two friends, one of whom happens to have cancer. I thought it would be one of those cheesy tweenage comedy shows. You know the type. Lots of physical comedy, cringy moments, and hyperactive screeching. I also presumed it would be about Alexa's battle with cancer.

Alexa & Katie is not about that. Alexa's in recovery at the start of the show; she's getting one of her final rounds of chemo in the opening moments, and it's clear that she has a good prognosis. The show is about the aftermath. Alexa battles with finding her identity, post-cancer, grappling with her desire not to be seen as the 'cancer girl'. Katie is dealing with her own trauma at the thought of almost losing her best friend, and her need to make Alexa feel happy and comfortable even when it means doing things that go against her nature.

It's also about growing up. The girls go through the last few years of school in the show, with all the issues that presents: boyfriends, first kisses, chasing their dreams, part-time jobs, and college applications. It's all a bit sanitised, obviously, because it's aimed at younger girls. Think of it as the polar opposite of Euphoria.

I enjoyed it a lot. There's real character growth here. Alexa and Katie, well, they grow up. They start off nervous and painfully self-conscious in the way that regular young teens find themselves, never mind those in the middle of cancer recovery. They become more capable, more competent. Alexa gets her driving license (eventually); Katie gets a job and chases her own dreams.

When my daughter was born, it was just the two of us, much of the time. Just me and my beautiful little baby. I woke up every day excited to be with her again. And every moment that she grew was tinged with both pride and a little bit of nervousness. I used to cry every time she had a birthday (and then did the same later, with my son). I couldn't imagine her growing up. I couldn't imagine them going to school and becoming separate from me, turning into teenagers. The thought scared me. It made me long for them, even while they were in my arms.

And the inevitable happened. It is happening. They're growing up. Now, I look at my daughter, cartwheeling across the living room, or playing Tears of the Kingdom, or revising for her SATs, and I've completely changed my tune. I'm not an idiot; my own teen years leaned more toward Euphoria than Alexa & Katie at times, at least in the later years, and I know there are tough challenges ahead. But she's becoming this incredible, fantastic, interesting person in her own right. And the older she gets, the more I can share with her. I look at her and I can't believe I birthed this wonderful girl. I'm allowing myself to look forward to it, with both of them, to look forward to everything we'll share together.

April has been kind to us, on the whole.

It was nice having the kids home for a couple of weeks. We're heading into my favourite time of the year: May/June/July, in which the weather is kinder, and my kids are still at school, and we're all settled into a nice routine. It will fly by, of course. The last 7 years of primary school have flown by.

Other things I've enjoyed this month:

• The first two episodes of Black Mirror, season 7. Common People hit us really hard.
• The short story collection Things We Say in the Dark by Kirsty Logan. Kinda Shirley Jackson/Angela Carter-esque horror stories. Very unsettling.
• Two Point Museum. Could this be my favourite Two Point game? I think it might be! All the charm and the silliness of Two Point Hospital, but with new challenges. It's a game that I'm happy to sit back and observe; I just like watching the visitors wandering around the museum, taking selfies, and climbing on the exhibits when they shouldn't be.
• This is quite specific and quite old now, but the Ben Willbond/Larry Rickard episode of RHLSTP made me laugh a lot. If you like the Horrible Histories/Ghosts crew, you'll enjoy this.

Nearly done with uni for the year, and then I'll be throwing myself into my nerdy hobbies again. Nearly there!